I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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