I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
even my farts smell like vagina
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
