just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
