i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
