Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
