I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
