It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You ruined the universe
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
