allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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