Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
