is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
