So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i love accidental penises.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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