end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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