i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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