At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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