How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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