Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
