Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
