this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
