Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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