Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
