I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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