i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
