So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
