margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
