Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
