So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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