oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
