Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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