The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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