I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
