I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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