i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
