One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
