I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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