dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
