Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
