marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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