why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
