our cab driver is having phone sex.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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