i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Randomize
