I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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