It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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