# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
