Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
