it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
