She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
