Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
