If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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