Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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