Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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