I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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