just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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