Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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