the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
