idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
