All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize