How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
