At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
