Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
