Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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