I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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