I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think my moral compass just broke
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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