Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
