Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize