I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
