he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
