He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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