i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
