I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
