Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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