I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
