There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
